Re-reading old emails

Date: Wednesday, 15 April, 2009, 1:16 AM

"gusto k din itong i save dahil ayaw ko na mawala k skin"

"lahat ng plano at pangarap ko gusto ko din matupad un na kasama ka"

"ako padin ba pakakasalan mo....or nagbago kana"

____


wow. nakakatouch naman basahin mga old emails natin..
sana ganito padin tayo.. ayaw mo ko mawala sa buhay mo..
sana hanggang ngaun ako padin gusto mo makasama sa mga pangarap mo and gusto mo padin yun matupad kasama ako..


kung babasahin mo lahat yun.. you will see how selfish I am for
staying in the Philippines instead of going back and be with you.
Why did I let you go through the pain while I was enjoying myself.
I never knew how much you loved me..
Kasi before I thought na you will always be there, until the day came na narealize ko na di lahat ng bagay ganun.

Now, ako naman nakaka experience nung na experience mo dito nung wala ako..
ang hirap pala.. kung di lang ako selfish that time, malamang magkasama tayo ngaun dito sa london and di na natin kailngn maghintay ng time para magkasama..

pero still thankful ako kasi ikaw husband ko and ako padin pinakasalan mo.. even though may mga issue dito and may mga issue dun nung married na tayo..

Ikaw parin husband ko and di na magbabago yun..


Para sayo tong lyrics na toh..


"I'm So In Love With You
I Wanna Spend The Rest Of My life
With You By My Side
For Ever and Ever"

I love you mahal.

WAGAMAMA

SEAFOOD RAMEN

noodles in a vegetable soup topped with grilled smooth dory, prawn, squid, kamaboko, wakame and seasonal greens. garnished with menma and spring onion!!


Wagamama isn't for everyone. It certainly isn't for people who want to enjoy a quiet, semi-romantic dining experience (unless schmoozing with your lover amongst a couple dozen strangers is romantic to you). But it's good for a small group and a casual, fun dinner out!

HOWEVER, I'm a huge fan of the Seafood Ramen. It is a super flavorful and yummy soup, with veggies and rice noodles in a spicy thai broth. It just makes me happy.

NA mis ko tuloy!

It was nice to hear your voice

Ever get a phone call and at the end, someone says "It sure was nice to hear your voice"?


A week ago, I was tossing and thinking in bed at about 1 am. It go so bad that I had to get up. I figured I needed to pray. This happens to me every now and again, I went outside and just started rattling off requests to God like a shopping list. It wasn't passionate prayer, it was just one of those times where I uploaded my burdens followed by silence as I thought about what to say next.

I thought that would be my ticket back into sleepytown, but I wasn't sleepy at the end of my talking at God, at all. So I waited. I just let my mind wander staring at the stars, and my eyes would occasionally cross making the stars appear to be in motion for a split second before they would right themselves and refocus. It seemed like all of the huge bugs were warming up their voices at once and there was a faint breeze in the trees.

I had laid there long enough to notice the movement of the moon. Finally, I got the message that God had intended me to hear. I felt in my spirit that God was saying to me, "listen Kristina, see the stars and hear the music? I do all of this every day without your help, all around the Universe. I can certainly handle all of the things you are worried about today." "Hmm," I thought, "what else?"

After I heard that, I wanted more. I kept waiting and as I waited, I got really sleepy. "Is that it?", I thought. I always feel that way after hearing from God and I always want more. But it seemed God had delivered his message and he was done. It was a message of peace in my little storm. That was all. That was enough. It sure was nice.

Kiss your life. Accept it, just as it is. Today. Now. So that those moments of happiness you're waiting for don't pass you by.

"If you love someone you say it. You say it right then. Out loud. Or the moment just passes you by."


I love this line.

Wounds of her heart...

"Truth is, everybody is going to hurt you; you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for." -Bob Marley.

Trusting= Suffering? yes or no?

This to me has so much meaning in my life right now. I am at a point where trust means a lot to me yet I don't know where to turn half of the time. That to me may be one of the biggest suffering.

Right here waiting...

"Wherever you go, Whatever you do, I will be right here waiting for you"

I can't believe I just quoted Richard Marx.

How to mend a broken heart by Nelson T. Dy

Well... I was personally disappointed with the author's heartbreak story. it wasn't that of what I expected. Why did he let himself go through such agony when the girl who broke his heart wasn't even his? duh. anyhow, the Bible lessons contained in his book were a consolation.


Here are some notes taken from the book “How to mend a broken heart”

~Grieving is a process. You don’t expect a bone fracture to heal over night. But just as one extreme is self-denial, the other extreme is clinging to the pain coz we can’t imagine a life without it.

~God specializes in turning our pain for something good. We just have to wait patiently as He unfolds the goodness.

~Are you disappointed? Lonely? Frustrated? Be confident that God will lift you up in due time.

~Psalms 30:5 ” Weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning.”

~A key in overcoming bitterness:

While you may be hurting, train yourself to look from God’s perspective. he doesn’t inflict heartache whimsically.

Sometimes, you are alone on the way of your life.

today.. I'm feeling much better..
I smiled more..
which is a good thing..
I still think of him but not that much today..
maybe because I've already accepted the fact that
he's with someone else...
uhmm...
I'm still happy with my life even if there's a big hole in my heart..

I wish my mind had an off button. It'd be nice to just not think about things for a while.

- Kristina
5/15/2010

Moving on...

Multiple misunderstandings, miscommunications, a lot of unreliability, nothing to lean on, a lil bit of frustration, tons of irritation, too many false promises and a blurry future.

I know this sadness will pass. I apologize if it offends you, but I cannot pretend that I do not feel this way.

Happiness will come again. :(

Get back together...

It's funny as I sit here writing this out I can't help but have a smile on my face just thinking about him you know? Where do I even begin to describe him.. he's got it all a personality that's so down to earth. Well we broke up not to long ago and you know it's funny because as much as you can try convincing yourself you'll get over a person you really can do it! but honestly who wants to do that ! right ?!!! lol yeah that's what I thought! We had been apart for 5 months now because I went back to Philippines and decided to stay. But before that, he was living in the same country as I do (London), for almost 3 years, and we had been together for a year until the break up a few weeks ago. I know I had been mean and not supportive because I was very stupidly assumed that he’d always love me.. I’ve learned that no relationship is guaranteed. Anyways, I talk to him still and I'm not shy to tell him how I feel about him , I can do that in an instant! Recently I've been finding these few days I've been thinking about him lots, I really want to get back with him.
Anyways there's always the fact he might fall for another girl even if he doesn't intentionally mean too, hopefully even if it's not me as long as he's happy.. I'll be happy..

I feel like giving up on us...

Please tell me whether I should give up on this relationship. What should I do?
He can be nice to me at times but also gives me lots of problems too. I'm really tired.
Lately I have been getting extremely irritated by him. He is very controlling. :(
AAARGH!!!!

WACOM BAMBOO FUN

Look what came in the mail for me today? My very own Wacom Bamboo Fun. A white one to match my laptop and my phone.


Just look at it? Doesn't it look pretty?

I took it for a test run tonight and am absolutely smitten. When I took it out of the box, I was surprised by the lightweight and thinness of the tablet.

It comes complete with a tutorial that runs you quickly through the basics. "Ink", the program that comes with the tablet is simple and impressive in its handwriting recognition. Maybe I'll start using the tablet to replace my keyboard to help improve my handwriting. (My handwriting is shocking!)

The best thing of all is the ease of start up and set up. No complicated installations. Just plug the tablet in via USB connection and you are on your way! In fact, when I plugged the tablet in, the pen and the mouse were both already reactive. Look what I sketched up within a few minutes of taking the tablet out of the box. The "real"ness of the active surface of the tablet adds to your natural pen stroke experience. I really like the control and pressure sensitivity.

Guess who will be spending a lot of time drawing away on the computer?

Life list

Glorify God and enjoy him forever.
Meet someone special.
Get married and have kids.
Learn Spanish.
Keep calm and carry on.
Read every book I own.
Stop the addiction to sugar.
Tell more people about Jesus.

Once a month write a message to someone I know
telling them why I think they are so wonderful
and incredible.

Be kissed at the top of the Eiffel Tower.
Read the entire Bible.
Explore the city where I live.
Walk 3 times a week.
Early to bed, Early to rise.
Be a better friend.
Read more books .
Learn to play the piano.
Start my own business.
Learn how to irish step dance.
Get organized.
Make friends.
Surround myself with people who care about me.
Spend more time with people I care about .
Stop being shy.
Own a bookstore.
Smile more .
Eat Healthily.
List all things I did well today!.
Get through college.
"loose" the weight - Go away, extra pounds! Run! Be free! .
Drink more water.
Take better care of myself.
Do something new every month .
Take 50 pictures of things that make me smile!
Share things that make me SMILE :-)
learn to understand my feelings of jealousy.
feel the need to wear makeup less often.
see the world.
write and receive love letters.
sleep under the stars.
learn how to ice skate.

Don't doubt in the dark what God has shown you in the light

No matter how hard you try, in a room that's completely dark, you'll never be able to see anything. Even if you know for sure that something is in the room, it's impossible to see it if the room is totally dark. You know it's there, but you just can't see it. That's what faith is like. You may be absolutely confident that God loves you; however, during the difficult and dark times in life, you may not be able to see that love.
Hebrews 11:1 defines faith as being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. Even when you don't see God's love for you, you can still have faith that he loves you -- that is, you can be certain that he loves you, even though you don't see it.

During those "dark times" in your spiritual life, you may not be able to see God's love, his faithfulness, his grace, or his promises to you; however, don't lose your faith. Be certain of what [you] do not see.

One day, your faith will be sight.

Wisdom is to do now what you will be satisfied with later.

Wisdom is to do now what you will be satisfied with later. From a practical standpoint, wisdom is to do now what you will be satisfied with later. This means that if you know doing something will be very beneficial later, then you do it now even if you don't want to. The opposite is also true: a person who lacks wisdom will base his or her actions on what feels good right now instead of looking at the long-term picture. For example, say you want to eat a snack, but you aren't hungry. You might say to yourself, "Well I know I shouldn't eat this, but ... ." And then you decide to keep eating even though you are full. Your actions followed your feelings instead of wisdom, and it's a decision that may lead to results you're not happy with later. Clearly, wisdom requires using self-control to choose to do what is better. A wise person looks at the end results instead of focusing only on his or her immediate circumstances. In short, wisdom is to do now what you will be satisfied with later.

He who is not content with what he has will not be content with what he wants

Life may seem like a race to accumulate more money, more wealth, more status, and more possessions. Sadly, many people are very greedy and look only for ways to get more for themselves, thinking, "If I could just get this certain thing, then I would be happy." However, greed is not the path to contentment. Greed is when you always want a little bit more. Yet, greed causes you to never be satisfied, because you always want more and as soon as you get what you want, you want even more. And so you never get what you want, because what you really want is contentment. The old cliche "money cannot buy happiness" really is true. It is no wonder Ecclesiastes 5:10 says, Whoever loves money never has money enough; whoever loves wealth is never satisfied with his income. Likewise, Hebrews 13:5 tells us: Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you." In other words, God is enough to keep any person content and joyful. The fact that God is always with you and that He will never leave you ought to be a cause of great joy in your life.

You can't enjoy today if you're worrying about the past or the future.

Your mind and your thoughts could be stuck in the past, continually thinking about what has already happened. If that's the case, it's best to get over it. The past has already happened; you can't do anything to change it. Rather, you ought to trust God that he is working out those things for ultimate good. On the other hand, your mind could be stuck in the future, thinking about what might happen, what you fear will happen, and things you wish wouldn't happen. However, being a person of faith requires trust--trusting God about the future. Romans 15:13 says, May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him. You'll have joy and peace when you trust in God. Why? Because you'll be able to rest and relax knowing that God has good plans in store for you. Don't worry about the past or the future. Instead, have faith; trust God. When you trust God to help you learn from the past and provide for your future, you're free to enjoy your life today.

Happy New Year!

New Year is a time for celebration of love, of life, of Friendship.It's the time to thank God for wonderful friends, and to bring to theirlives as much magic as they bring to ours...Happy New Year!

Thankfulness depends on what is in your heart, not what is in your hand.

Most people have no trouble finding things to complain about: traffic is slow, gas is too expensive, the weather is bad, prices are too high. Yet in every single situation, that same person also has a lot to be thankful for: he can drive, has a car, has a shelter to be protected from the weather, and has the money to purchase necessary items.
Your circumstances may not be all that great, but wherever you are it is God's will that you give thanks in everything.
Godbless!