Re-reading old emails

Date: Wednesday, 15 April, 2009, 1:16 AM

"gusto k din itong i save dahil ayaw ko na mawala k skin"

"lahat ng plano at pangarap ko gusto ko din matupad un na kasama ka"

"ako padin ba pakakasalan mo....or nagbago kana"

____


wow. nakakatouch naman basahin mga old emails natin..
sana ganito padin tayo.. ayaw mo ko mawala sa buhay mo..
sana hanggang ngaun ako padin gusto mo makasama sa mga pangarap mo and gusto mo padin yun matupad kasama ako..


kung babasahin mo lahat yun.. you will see how selfish I am for
staying in the Philippines instead of going back and be with you.
Why did I let you go through the pain while I was enjoying myself.
I never knew how much you loved me..
Kasi before I thought na you will always be there, until the day came na narealize ko na di lahat ng bagay ganun.

Now, ako naman nakaka experience nung na experience mo dito nung wala ako..
ang hirap pala.. kung di lang ako selfish that time, malamang magkasama tayo ngaun dito sa london and di na natin kailngn maghintay ng time para magkasama..

pero still thankful ako kasi ikaw husband ko and ako padin pinakasalan mo.. even though may mga issue dito and may mga issue dun nung married na tayo..

Ikaw parin husband ko and di na magbabago yun..


Para sayo tong lyrics na toh..


"I'm So In Love With You
I Wanna Spend The Rest Of My life
With You By My Side
For Ever and Ever"

I love you mahal.

WAGAMAMA

SEAFOOD RAMEN

noodles in a vegetable soup topped with grilled smooth dory, prawn, squid, kamaboko, wakame and seasonal greens. garnished with menma and spring onion!!


Wagamama isn't for everyone. It certainly isn't for people who want to enjoy a quiet, semi-romantic dining experience (unless schmoozing with your lover amongst a couple dozen strangers is romantic to you). But it's good for a small group and a casual, fun dinner out!

HOWEVER, I'm a huge fan of the Seafood Ramen. It is a super flavorful and yummy soup, with veggies and rice noodles in a spicy thai broth. It just makes me happy.

NA mis ko tuloy!

It was nice to hear your voice

Ever get a phone call and at the end, someone says "It sure was nice to hear your voice"?


A week ago, I was tossing and thinking in bed at about 1 am. It go so bad that I had to get up. I figured I needed to pray. This happens to me every now and again, I went outside and just started rattling off requests to God like a shopping list. It wasn't passionate prayer, it was just one of those times where I uploaded my burdens followed by silence as I thought about what to say next.

I thought that would be my ticket back into sleepytown, but I wasn't sleepy at the end of my talking at God, at all. So I waited. I just let my mind wander staring at the stars, and my eyes would occasionally cross making the stars appear to be in motion for a split second before they would right themselves and refocus. It seemed like all of the huge bugs were warming up their voices at once and there was a faint breeze in the trees.

I had laid there long enough to notice the movement of the moon. Finally, I got the message that God had intended me to hear. I felt in my spirit that God was saying to me, "listen Kristina, see the stars and hear the music? I do all of this every day without your help, all around the Universe. I can certainly handle all of the things you are worried about today." "Hmm," I thought, "what else?"

After I heard that, I wanted more. I kept waiting and as I waited, I got really sleepy. "Is that it?", I thought. I always feel that way after hearing from God and I always want more. But it seemed God had delivered his message and he was done. It was a message of peace in my little storm. That was all. That was enough. It sure was nice.

Kiss your life. Accept it, just as it is. Today. Now. So that those moments of happiness you're waiting for don't pass you by.

"If you love someone you say it. You say it right then. Out loud. Or the moment just passes you by."


I love this line.

Wounds of her heart...

"Truth is, everybody is going to hurt you; you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for." -Bob Marley.

Trusting= Suffering? yes or no?

This to me has so much meaning in my life right now. I am at a point where trust means a lot to me yet I don't know where to turn half of the time. That to me may be one of the biggest suffering.

Right here waiting...

"Wherever you go, Whatever you do, I will be right here waiting for you"

I can't believe I just quoted Richard Marx.

How to mend a broken heart by Nelson T. Dy

Well... I was personally disappointed with the author's heartbreak story. it wasn't that of what I expected. Why did he let himself go through such agony when the girl who broke his heart wasn't even his? duh. anyhow, the Bible lessons contained in his book were a consolation.


Here are some notes taken from the book “How to mend a broken heart”

~Grieving is a process. You don’t expect a bone fracture to heal over night. But just as one extreme is self-denial, the other extreme is clinging to the pain coz we can’t imagine a life without it.

~God specializes in turning our pain for something good. We just have to wait patiently as He unfolds the goodness.

~Are you disappointed? Lonely? Frustrated? Be confident that God will lift you up in due time.

~Psalms 30:5 ” Weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning.”

~A key in overcoming bitterness:

While you may be hurting, train yourself to look from God’s perspective. he doesn’t inflict heartache whimsically.

Sometimes, you are alone on the way of your life.

today.. I'm feeling much better..
I smiled more..
which is a good thing..
I still think of him but not that much today..
maybe because I've already accepted the fact that
he's with someone else...
uhmm...
I'm still happy with my life even if there's a big hole in my heart..

I wish my mind had an off button. It'd be nice to just not think about things for a while.

- Kristina
5/15/2010

Moving on...

Multiple misunderstandings, miscommunications, a lot of unreliability, nothing to lean on, a lil bit of frustration, tons of irritation, too many false promises and a blurry future.

I know this sadness will pass. I apologize if it offends you, but I cannot pretend that I do not feel this way.

Happiness will come again. :(

Get back together...

It's funny as I sit here writing this out I can't help but have a smile on my face just thinking about him you know? Where do I even begin to describe him.. he's got it all a personality that's so down to earth. Well we broke up not to long ago and you know it's funny because as much as you can try convincing yourself you'll get over a person you really can do it! but honestly who wants to do that ! right ?!!! lol yeah that's what I thought! We had been apart for 5 months now because I went back to Philippines and decided to stay. But before that, he was living in the same country as I do (London), for almost 3 years, and we had been together for a year until the break up a few weeks ago. I know I had been mean and not supportive because I was very stupidly assumed that he’d always love me.. I’ve learned that no relationship is guaranteed. Anyways, I talk to him still and I'm not shy to tell him how I feel about him , I can do that in an instant! Recently I've been finding these few days I've been thinking about him lots, I really want to get back with him.
Anyways there's always the fact he might fall for another girl even if he doesn't intentionally mean too, hopefully even if it's not me as long as he's happy.. I'll be happy..

I feel like giving up on us...

Please tell me whether I should give up on this relationship. What should I do?
He can be nice to me at times but also gives me lots of problems too. I'm really tired.
Lately I have been getting extremely irritated by him. He is very controlling. :(
AAARGH!!!!